Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Pompeii



I find it interesting when a story is told, about an actual historical event. We know the ending of the story, we just have to sit through a cheesy half assed love story to get to the bit we all came to see, or at least most of us… the history bit. Whether it be the sinking of a ship, the fall of a city, or the devastating volcano, there is one story that must be partially told in front of all these events… the tragic love story that can't and won't see the light of day pass the event in question.


Milo a young Celtic boy is awoke by a sound, the slaughter of his entire family and tribe, by Senator Corvus and his Roman troops, but he survives the massacre. Taken by slavers Milo is sold to the Gladiators. On his way to Pompeii he helps a woman, Cassia, with her wounded horse, by snapping it's neck with his bare hands… his bare hands.

In Pompeii Cassias father is preparing a ceremony for a delegate of the new Emperor, to try to procure funds to rebuild and renew the city. That night the Volcano starts to become active. To Cassias surprise Senator Corvus is the delegate sent by the Emperor, because it was unwanted attention from him that made her come home when she did.

The gladiators prepare for the games, but the night before they happen, a handful of gladiators are chosen to be taken to the manor of the cities patron, to be pleasure slaves for the evening. During the party a series of earthquakes happen causing the animals to be roused. Cassia sees Milo and requests his help to calm the horses. After he calms the horses Milo and Cassia ride out of the manor forcefully and are chased by guards. When caught Milo is punished, before his whipping Milo sees Corvus and gets in a rage remembering what he did to his family. During the whipping senator Corvus says to the gamesman that he wants him to be killed first in the games.

During the games the next day Milo is set in a recreation to the massacre of his people, driven by rage Milo and the gladiators overcome and defeat the romans… and then the eruptions begin.



Watching this movie was like watching Gladiator, Troy, 300, Dantes Peak, and Titanic all at the same time, darting your head around at the screens seeing different bits of each. I'm not saying it’s a bad movie just that it isn't an original story, the only thing that is different about it is that the story of Pompeii and Vesuvius hasn’t been overdone yet. I understand that making it an action love story is the best way to get a larger audience, but it’s a predictable story done hundreds of times, it’s a bad story to be put on a movie with this type of ending. It shouldn’t be boy meets girl, falls in love, tragedy, then death, they should try a story about 2 married people that fall into this shit, not new love, it’s a tired story.

That being said, no you don’t have to go see this in theaters, wait for dvd or netflix, or even better, watch Gladiator and after the reenactment put in Troy and jump to the Trojan horse scene then before Orlando shoots Brad put in Dante's Peak and watch the volcano blow and just stop the movie right there. It’s the same experience.


I give it a 2 out of 5

Written by Jeff Potts

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

RoboCop (2014)



One thing that always bothered me about movies that were set in the future, but made in
the 80’s and early 90’s, was that they really thought the world was going to end in the 2000’s. Playing off everyone’s fears, so the movies set in the future then looked like crap, as if our growth and technology would never get better. A movie that flaunted this was RoboCop, only said to be set in the near dystopic future, the only thing that looked like it advanced any was the sniper rifles with explosive rounds.

Now we jump ahead to the new movie, set in 2028, where we’ve gotten past the end of the world fear that was pushed heavily on us, and given a chance to see what the movie should have looked like back then. The biggest disappointment with this new version is that it was almost the same movie, they didn’t write a new story, they just modernized the script. 


Police officer, Alex Murphy and his partner try to bust an illegal arms dealer, but are found out and get in a shootout, where his partner is wounded. Alex finds out that the guns being sold are from the police evidence lockup, and he has a pretty good idea who the dirty cops are, he just needs to find the evidence to prove it. The dirty cops approach the arms dealer and tell him to take out Murphy, and give him Alex’s schedule. When Alex goes to visit his partner, a bomb is placed under his car.

Later that night when Alex is home with his wife and son, his car alarm goes off and when he goes out to check on it, the car explodes, critically injuring Alex. The only way to save Alex is to put him in the OmniCorp cybernetic program, where they remove all the damaged tissue and replace it with cybernetics. After 3 months of surgery and upgrading, Alex is woken up to a terrifying sight, that he is now mostly machine.

After refining his software and operations, and going through rehab, Alex is allowed to come home and go back to work, unknowingly as a media stunt to help out OmniCorp get a foothold in the American market, with their robot police force. When Alex is set to be unleashed upon the city of Detroit, they upload the entire police database into his databanks, and he immediately has a panic attack when he accesses the files on his case, forcing the doctors to shut him down and basically make him run on autopilot. Being denied access to see her husband Alex’s wife confronts him on the street in front of the police station, causing a reaction to start in his head that slowly brings him back to normal.

Now that he is back, Alex finds his partner and they go about returning to the case, that they were both almost killed on.



I already said my biggest disappointment, and to be honest that was really all I had against this movie. The things they added to the movie were huge improvements to the holes in the original. The biggest flack this movies is getting is from the people that hold the original so dear to them, but let’s be honest, it was a movie that just wanted to be as gory as it possibly could be. I mean did it need to be that bloody and violent… no and this new version is proof, exact same story better delivery.

That being said, no you don’t have to run out and see it, but it is definitely worth a watch.



I give it a 3 out of 5


Written by Jeff Potts

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

the Lego Movie


A children’s story like all the others, but it stands far from the rest. I’m not knocking the formula that the movie follows by any means, even though it is the basis for all kids movies.

1.A terrible thing happens that only one person can stop, and that person doesn’t know they are special.

2.A supporting hero finds this person to tell them they are special, but they don’t see that about them self, but they follow this other hero, and find other people willing to fight for the cause.

3.Then in the end they see that they were a hero all along.

I’m saying that this movie took that and ran with it across the finish line.


Emmet, a young construction worker who lives completely by the book, does everything according to the instructions. Until one day he notices something out of the ordinary and falls down a hole when he goes to investigate. At the bottom of this hole he finds something called “a piece of destiny” and when he touches it he passes out and gets a vision. when he awakens he is in custody and being interrogated about the piece of destiny that is now attached to his back.

During the interrogation Emmet is rescued by a MasterBuilder, named Wyldstyle, they escape the city in search of the other MasterBuilders, to use the piece of destiny to stop president Business from unleashing his ultimate weapon, the Kragle, that he will use to keep anything from changing, ever again.

Wyldstyle discovers that there is nothing special about Emmet and that he just accidentally happened across the piece of destiny. They meet up with Vitruvius, a great MasterBuilder, who leads them to the other MasterBuilders, but when they learn the truth about Emmet they all lose hope that they will ever succeed, and this is quickly reinforced by a sudden raid by the robot police force, where most of the MasterBuilders are captured, and Emmet and his group now have a bigger challenge on their hands, of freeing the others and stopping president Business.



I seriously love, love, loved this movie. probably because I love Legos so much, but it was a really good story too, even if it sounds like I think it’s not original. The story point that comes up toward the end of the movie is a large reason why I loved the movie, story wise, but just the fact that everything was made out of Legos, not a single thing in this movie wasn’t made out of Legos, except for the certain special items. I wish I could have shown this to a younger me, I would have lost my shit, and things might have gone differently for me, but I’m glad I can just look at it in retrospect.

I would say definitely go see this in theaters, take your friends, take your family, and above all, take the kids.


I give it a 4 out of 5

Written by Jeff Potts

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

I, Frankenstein


This is one of those classic stories of boy meets girl, girl is intrigued by boy, boy is a reanimated corpse that kills demons. That’s right! this week I am talking I, Frankenstein. 

The story of Frankenstein’s monster, who after being shunned by his maker, kills his makers wife, and then leads/is hunted by his maker so far north that he freezes him to death. Being the good Christian monster that he is, he drags the body all the way back to his family burial plot, and gets jumped by demons as soon as he buries him. After descending one of the demons he promptly gets knocked out, but luckily there are some gargoyles on the church nearby, that just happen to be warriors created by the archangel Michael to patrol the earth and fight demons, that swoop in kill the other demons, and take the monster with them to their leader.

Frankenstein’s monster is told all about a secret war that is raging on earth between the Gargoyles and Demons, but nothing like the one between the Vampyr and Lycan war from Underworld… Leonora, the leader of the Gargoyles, allows the monster to go, because she feels he has a special purpose, she gives him a name, Adam, and gives him weapons to defend himself from any further demon attacks.

So about 200 or so years pass, with Adam trying to live a quiet life, out in the middle of nowhere, but he is constantly being attacked by demons. So he decides to return to the city and take the fight to them. But the demons have other plans in mind, using a human front the demons are trying to crack the Frankenstein code of how to reanimate a corpse, with the help of an unwitting beautiful human scientist named Terra…


 So I will start by saying I enjoyed this movie, I also enjoyed all of the Underworld movies, which I understand that they were practically the same movie (see joke above in the third paragraph)mainly I’m sure because they were both written by Kevin Grevioux. You don’t have to rush out and see this movie in theaters, but if you like action monster movies then definitely watch it or pick it up. The effects were really crazy, especially with the Gargoyles, the way they moved and transformed into human form was nifty, but the demons made me feel like I was watching an episode of Buffy or Angel. Aaron Eckhart did a great job as always, but as it was pointed out to me halfway through the movie, he couldn’t decide on how he wanted his gait and kept changing from a normal walk to a stiff legged walk.

 I will leave you at that, until next time cinerds.


I give it a 3 out of 5

Written by Jeff Potts